The past few weeks have been one heck of an emotional roller coaster ride. Joey has been in residential treatment since August. It has been so hard on him as it is his third go around. Mental health issues in children are just devastating for all involved. My heart breaks for him more than most will ever know.
Well, as part of his plan, he was to go into a step down type of program this time. This is to help to insure his chance at being successful coming home. We had waited, we had planned, we had it all worked out. Then there was no bed. So his "team" decided he was just going to once again discharge to home. Really!!! So what in their wildest dreams made them think he was going to find success this go around? How was it to be any different than the other two times?? Why were they playing with a child's life??
Thank goodness for people who have traveled this road before us. Thank goodness for the parents who refuse against all who have an opinion, to give up and give in. Once again I had to fight the very system that was supposed to help our child. I placed a call to The Governor's Office. My goodness, that got the ball rolling. All of a sudden, I was thrust into the fast lane of life.
A bed became available at the very learning home that we wanted him to go into. He was ready to start the discharge process, but this mama had to jump through all the hoops first. Day after day I have driven to Reno to do everything that needed to be done. At home I was collecting all the needed documentation that needed to be collected. Even Merrill was in on the action, copying all that needed to be copied for me.
I had to go to his new school and get him enrolled there. Meet the players who would be in his new school life. Also search high and low for all the parts of the uniform he was now going to wear. As a trooper, I got it all done. I feel nearly unstoppable when it comes to the needs of the children.
Then yesterday I went to check him out of the residential treatment facility and check him into the learning home. Then we had several hours of more paperwork, meeting people and getting Joey settled. He was okay, but as he should have been, he was afraid, he was scared. To be honest, so was I. How can he keep this up? How can he keep being such a brave boy?
Then "it" happened. He broke down and I had to be the strong person. He begged me not to leave him. He promised to be good. He said he just wanted to go home with his family.
How my heart broke for him!! In all of my time raising our children, being the parent is not always the easiest person to be. Encouraging Joey and telling him it will all be okay when no one knows if it will be or not. Will he ever be totally okay? No matter how hard he tries, do people ever really "beat" emotional issues that have driven them to where they are today?
All I know is I am worn out. My body hurts and my eyes have cried more tears that I thought I would cry. We are not at the end of the road, we have just taken a turn at the bend.
Joey is once again getting settled in and I am starting to learn the new routine of what must take place. We will both do all that we need to do. He is excited about his new school and that is a good thing. To be honest, I liked the new school also. It will be a great place for him to learn.
I will cry a few more tears, my heart will break a bit more, but we will travel this road that very few will ever understand. More than that, many do not care to understand and that is the hardest part.
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