A DOWN SIDE TO ADOPTIONS

Today my heart has been heavy. I am not really sure why I have started thinking about this subject. Maybe the reason it has started to weigh heavy on me is that I have sure been enjoying Jericho these last few days. Jericho is a boy with many challenges. He has Cornelia de Lange and to be honest, it is a rather nasty syndrome to have. In most cases it includes things like small stature, overgrowth of all body hair, profound retardation, heart problems and digestive problems, shortened life expectancy and on and on the list can go. Bottom line for us, Jericho is just that, Jericho.

He can be a very funny boy. He can be loud and obnoxious. He makes the funniest sounds that you can imagine and yes, he does it at the most inappropriate times. He can drink a persons Starbucks so fast you wonder why you spent the 5 dollars on it. He can down a soda faster than you can walk away from it. You learn how to hide things as he loves getting into everything. Poison Control is now on speed dial. They know us by his name.

But none of that explains why adoptions have a down side. You see, Jericho has a sister. Her name is not important. She loved him. We could tell how much she cared for him by her gentle nature towards him. She asked wonderful questions about him when she came to visit. It was a joy to watch her with him.

The two of them had been separated. They were placed into different adoptive homes. The reasons are not important. It might have been because it was unknown if a family would step forward to adopt Jericho. His sister on the other hand is a healthy, beautiful and typically developing young lady.

His sister has been adopted into another home. I am sure she is loved and well cared for. We got to see her towards the end of last year. She had changed. She no longer hugged Jericho. She no longer asked questions about him. She seemed to have grown detached from him. It has been evident that her adoptive home has not encouraged her to have a relationship with this one time brother of hers.

This is truly a downside to adoptions. Two siblings forever separated by something that was never either of their faults. This happens. The system tries to keep siblings together, but there are times it just does not work out. In this case the part that hurts is this young lady just needed to know it is okay to still love this brother that she loved so much. That in loving him she would not take away from the family that now loves her and calls her their own. Jericho may never fully understand that this sister of his is no longer in his life, but she will always know that in gaining her new family, she totally lost her brother. My prayer for her is that one day she finds him again and learns to love again all that he has to offer.