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WHO HURTS WORSE?

I belong to this message board and they have been chatting back an forth about things that are said to them. Let me start out by saying all of these parents have been to hell and back with medical issues concerning their children. They have hurt, they have watched their child/children go through many surgeries and have worried if their child might not make it till the next day.....or maybe even the next hour. Their road has been painfully traveled.


The tone of the chit chat has been about how they seem to feel that a parent to a "normal" child with just the "normal" childhood ups and downs has no right to complain or maybe the reality is they have no right to complain while in front of them. I am not really sure. What I do know is that it has made me feel a great sadness for them. They are a great bunch of parents. They have really traveled a hard journey with their child. Most of their children are now doing okay...still involved medically, but all in all, okay.
Now, how do we decide whose pain is worse? I for one hope that I never have to really try to figure that out. I never want anyone to loose a child "just so they can know how it really feels". I have a friend who has lost her desert tortoise. She let him out to sun and low and behold he decided to go for a walk. She is just sick over this. Do I compare her loss to the loss that I have suffered. I think not. It is painful to loose a pet. I want to hurt with her and to rejoice with her if and when she finds him.


I have posted about a friend from church who is going to the NICU everyday with her son. He came early despite her best efforts. I want her to know that we care and are there for her. As a family we pray for them and lift them up. I never want to act like this is no big deal, babies survive who have come weeks and weeks earlier. Reality is, she is not thinking about those babies, she wants her son to live, to come home to her arms and to his family.


I hope that these parent, the ones on the message board one day fully understand that all things are important to people no matter how big or small we may think they are. We may be coming at it all from our perspective, but so are the parents of that more "normal" child.
Thanks for letting me "get it all out".


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Comments

Anonymous said…
Hi Roberta! I do agree with what you wrote...even being one of the parents that post on the mb's. I feel an incredible amount of guilt when I have those feelings of thinking, "hey, they have it easy...why are they complaining." But, it doesn't stop that initial first reaction, you know what I mean? I'm working on it...it has been something I'm prayerfully reminding myself of daily. Trust me...before our experience of being a special needs mother, I'd be one of the mom's complaining about "trivial" things. :) Have a great day!
12:34 PM
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